Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Horoscope

well, i'm currently at work... right after lunch. so far today has been a smooth flowing day. workwise, basically i have everything in control. i'm abit off schedule for certain stuff but.... well, thats the working life.

anyway... i'm here to just mention about a lil sumthing. i was checking my mail and i received this mail about horoscopes. and it made me ponder on it for awhile. well, it seems that almost all of the horoscopes you read about from magazine to magazine or online, they all seem to be almost similar. and... the quirky part about it is that all of them seem to someway or another be accurate to the person you are right now. hmmmm.... its certainly one thing to ponder upon. for me... i kinda think that.... somehow there's two explanation to this. one... maybe it is true that your horoscope creates the person that you are right now. as in... its all 'programmed'. i don't know how and why but.... the world just works in mysterious ways. next... maybe it could somehow be psychological. like.... as in.... its because you're always reading all these horoscope thingys, you choose to 'mold' yourself into that person they state you are suppose to be. you choose to believe that you are like that, hence you act and behave like that. you know what i mean?? well..... its certainly logical right?? think about it.


anyway.... i've got to go back to work now. so... i shall end this post with my horoscope prediction.

TAURUS - The Tramp
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!

2:17 PM

Tuesday, October 30, 2007



Which Winnie the Pooh Character Are You?

You are Winnie the Pooh. Oh, bother. You are sweet, simple, and popular for your honesty and goodwill. Though you may be the biggest personality in the woods, you sometimes need the help of others in the brains department!
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

4:49 PM

Everything you say must be the truth, but not all truth must be said

11:53 AM

Monday, October 29, 2007

My whole body is screwed

well... as i'm typing this, i'm coughing once every 20 seconds average. and this time the cough seems different... its like as if there is something stucked there. plus.... every after every cough i'll be out of breath. and then.... occasionally, i'll vomit liquid, blood and phlegm out.

i'm kinda sure this is not any normal cough. its already been about a month and still no cure. its really getting worse. and its really scaring the hell out of me. why am i having so many problems with my body?? visits to the doctor is becoming a norm for me now. and the feeling really sucks. i just feel so useless.

i've got so many scary thoughts running thru my mind.... cancer??? tuberculosis??? i still wanna live a healthy life. please dont let all of these happen to me.

and finally, i really doubt my parents care. and i have a very good feeling i have to pay for the treatment. where am i suppose to find the money?? thanks alot.....so much for being a parent.

11:32 PM

Questions left unanswered

at times it tears my heart just thinking about it. you make my mind wonder in a world of its own, as it ponders to upon your answers to my questions. i guess i just cant phrase those words inside my mind into a question. or maybe... perhaps... its just not meant for me to know. some things are better left unanswered as some of you might say.

hmmmm.... but... on the other hand... its slowly eating me deep inside. killing me... i need answers. there's a million possibilities but... only one answer to it. so.... am i suppose to think of all the million possibilities before i can know the truth? if that is so...... such cruelty it is.

but on the other hand... can i handle the truth? will the truth be pleasant? or will it be something i can never except. thinking about it simply scares me. that picture i have in my mind.... i wouldnt know if i can ever walk away and erase it forever. once the truth is untold.... things may never be the same. but..... would it??

well.... i have no answers. only you hold them all.

i wouldnt know how i'll handle it....

is there such thing in this world as a fairy tale??? i doubt....

2:55 PM

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Baking session!!

alright!!! finally.... the long long wait is over. my brownies are ready! yay!! but before i talk about that, let me just mention about something else first.

23 october 2007, estimated time 6.00pm:
history was made. well... in my personal record that is. haha!! Annabel Ang Swan Aye visited my house for the first time! yup yup yup!! and... i really have to say, its my first time bringing a girl home either. so.... i was nervous. plus... i really didnt know what my mum's expression would be. but... i must say it was a pleasant experience. far far better than what i expected. somehow... i felt comfortable and more at ease. so ya.... we talked, showed her around my room and all, watched tv.... even had dinner at my house which was totally not planned. and plus.... girl girl was in the picture too. haha! she's abit scared of bel bel but... still not that bad. maybe she can sense that bel bel is her friend. haha! anyway.... i really had a great time with her. i want more!! sweeeeettttttt!!! lol!

okay... moving on to the baking session. haha! it was a success i guess. it looks good, smells good, feels good and i really hope it taste good. cause i didnt really had the measuring cup thingy. so... yeah.... i went by my 'chef' instinct. i kinda estimated the amoung of oil and water to add. really cant wait to taste it. shall wait for SOMEONE to eat it together. hehe! anyway... its because of that someone i choose to bake the brownies. specially for her. =P
here are the pictures... enjoy! yum yum!
Betty crocker's brownie!! Step1: Put in the mixture and the Hershey's Syrup
Step 2: Add egg, oil, and water
Step 3: Mix the mixture properly and evenly. Create a smooth textured mixture.
Step 4: Pour the mixture into a baking pan which has been greased with oil.
Step 5: Bake the mixture in the oven for about 50 mins at a temperature of about 255 deg.The final product!!

okay.... thats about it. any orders for brownies you can feel free to contact me. availability is subjected to my free time. lol! prices are negotiable. hehe!!

11:11 PM

Sunday, October 21, 2007

(WEAK)-end

well.... the time now is about 12.30am. i'm kinda tired and sleepy but just decided to come online and update a lil b4 going to bed. ouh.... notice the title.... well... hopefully u guys get it. if not.... too bad.
anway... lets make this a fast one.

starting off with friday. well, work was till 12pm as we had to head down to school for class in the afternoon. hmmmm.... lets see, it can be said to be a good thing as well as a bad thing. reason being bad is because i find the module super stupid and the lecturer is super dumb! good because work is cut short! but... lets not talk so much about class. instead about the good stuff. well, as soon as i stepped into ngee ann, there was a sudden gush of that familiar school aura. yup yup.... the hustle and bustle of kids at the bustops, the familiar sounds at the attrium and and and..... not fogetting..... the wonderful sight that i have been so far deprived for for a period of about 2 months. yup yup... the sight of Ngee Ann poly girls. haha!! and to my amazement.... some of them look very unfamiliar. as in.... i've never seen them ard. where have they been hiding i wonder. lol! moving on.... the next best thing would definately be the food. i decided to delay my lunch by an hour just to get a bite of the tasty chicken chop rice at canteen 4. it seems so long since i last had it. and as soon as i had my first bite, the taste simply seems to linger there for slightly longer then usual. i dunno why but..... well, yum yum!

hmmmm... so... other then that, the catching up with classmates continued right into the classroom. yup yup... hack the lecturer. we just chatted like nobody's business. the module just seems so dumb. and having a lousy lecturer just doesnt help. i hope i wont flung it.

anyway... after class, plans were to head down for a chill out session. the normal group of buddies hanging out. so.... right after class, headed down to town for a walk. and damn... since my G2000 bag is no longer on the shelves, it leaves me to search for a new one. there are a few that caught my eye but... i'm not very sure. i need someones opinion. so far, its either Esprit or Fourskin. so.... from wisma to cineliesure and to heeren, i simply took in the sights and sounds of the familiar orchard road. then, later on in the evening, after dinner, the drinking session started. but..... not b4 we had super long walk to bugis from cityhall. haha! and damn, my leg really hurts from that long journey to booze. but.... i manage to survived! and i really had a good time that evening.
siva took us to timbre at first but it was crowded so we headed for plan B which was a place called "ALL ABOUT EVE BAR" at 45 Haji Lane. its a nice cosy lil place to chill esp if you want cheap beer and a nice karaoke place. lol! yup.... u heard it right, karaoke. but b4 that, let me do some promoting.... the beer there is going at a price of 2 bottles for 10 bucks. and u have a choice of Heineken, Carlsberg, Hoegaarden and afew more i forgot. and as for the karaoke thigy.... yup yup.... i had my first karaoke session there. goodness.... i cant believe i did that myself. lol! but... hack! it was super fun lah. esp with great friends around. haha!! i sang song like, an jing, can't take my eyes off you, hero and many more. and... i kinda forgot the lyrics for an jing. so.. had a lil trouble siging it but i manage to scrap thru. hmmmm.... i guess the evening was certainly a nice one. oh ya.... and i kinda got a lil tipsy after 4 bottles. and having to take the train really doesnt help. my head was spinning. haha!!

Haji Lane Graffiti

oh ya!! before i forget. let me just mention... as i was walking pass Action City at Heeren, i saw sumthing that really caught my eye. and i was so super excited when i saw it. it so cute!!! guess what it is.... MARIO!! haha! i so want it very much!! and as i looked at it i suddenly was reminded of someone that always used to call me that. haha! memories. here's the pics:

Big Mario: $109

Small Mario: $44.90

finally, lets talk about tdy. well... woke up at about 12pm. and kinda had a minor hangover. haha! and at 3pm i was suppose to be a khatib MRT station to meet up with the BB guys for a hari raya outing, but was slightly late. well... it was fun. went over to Siraj's house and had yummy briyani. followed by Matin's house later on in the evening. and over at matin's house more of them came. ppl like, fadz, zarin, shaun, chengliang, marilyn and etc. it was nice to meet up with them. and the food!!! omg! matin's mum really put in alot of effort to cook for us the dishes. there was roasted lamb, mutton, fried chicken, boiled potatoes and etc. very very western. i loike!!! she certainly is an excellent cook. and by the end of the day... my tummy was as round as a soccer ball. haha! i felt so bloated! but.... ofcoz, satisfied.

i realised, sometimes, u learn more about someone when u actually visit their house. u learn more about their family, see how they are at home and etc. actually.... the relationship also get strenghtened.

okay... i guess that brings my day to and end. time now is 1.29am. i took 1 hr to write this post. and i actually tot i wanted to make it a fast one. haha!. anyway... i've got work tmr. back to RITZ! haha! i'm scared. i hope i still remember the work. its gonna be a long day tmr.

i think i'm gonna do baking tmr when i get back home from work.

thats about it! take care! good night!

12:30 AM

Thursday, October 18, 2007

You make me go bonkers!

well.... lately i've been thinking alot. and most of the questions in my mind would be... should i??

yup.... should i do this?? should i do that??? should i say this and that.... etc. i'm very unsure right now. will my actions result in not the most wonderful consequences or cause bitter experiences?

should i follow my heart and instincts or should i use my brain?

sometimes i just feel like throwing all these thoughts out of the window and just have fun. live a life of my own.

the one thing i hate about myself would be my mood swings. its switches on and off with just a split of a second. one time i can be all smiles and the next... when u say something i don't like, you simply ruin the moment. i'm not blaming anyone here. i guess its just me. the bad side of me. i wish i can change it too.

i'm not writting like i used to today...

i shall end here....

"the deserving never deserves what they get."

9:58 PM

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Thinking is evil!

i'm the office now... had my lunch about an hour ago and the side effects are about to seep in right about now. feeling kinda sleepy and lazy today. was almost about to skip work AGAIN but i told myself to be a responsible worker and go to work. plus... i have lots and lots of work to do. yes... you heard it right. I HAVE WORK TO DO. the papers on my table are slowly piling up thanks to my STUPID manager. its like as if the PROJECT, daily stuff and matters to settle on my list that i already have is not enough. he happily comes to me and SUPPOSEDLY asked for my HELP. hmmmm.. lets see.... come to think of it. if he mention help i dont necessarily need to do it right. haha! i'm bad!

anyway... moving away from work. i had a great time last night. had a nice dinner, talked and plus... i got my dosage of beer that i had crave for so long. hmmmm.... feels good. and of course i went back with round roud tummy. yes, the whole evening was filled with smiles and laughter. fun fun fun!!

well.... as i'm typing this, i can feel a slight pain in my knee. i dunno why but... i think it started from yesterday. i think its because i ran for a distance. oh my... and this is definately not good news. i thought by now it shld be stronger. pls pls pls.... i hope it heals. i need to prepare for NS. lets just hope my knee problem doesnt jeopardise my chances in the army. and more importantly my chances to fly.

other than that.... my throat is still giving me problems. tdy is slightly more painful. and again... i hope its nothing serious.

okay... i guess thats about it. after work gonna rush down to Plaza Singapura to get the bag for my Cuica and then head down to Baracuda prac. i hope they do something productive today. if not i'm so not gonna come down for the coming practices.

till then..... i'll update soon.

(ps. wondering why i had that title?? well.... to keep it simple, i have lots on my mind and its making me feel all worked-up. and trust me... its not the most wonderful feeling. the world will never go easy on you untill you're six feet under.)

2:28 PM

Monday, October 15, 2007

Song dedication (3 Doors Down-Here By Me)

alright alright.... i guess i just cant seem to keep myself away from all these emo songs. i just keep crawling back. i dunno why... but i think its just me. i find inspiration in them. i find motivation. i see myself in those lyrics being sung.


i feel that it represents a mind of a guy who has suffered much to achieve things in his life which means so much to him without telling anyone, but his dreams deny him the flexibility.


I hope you’re doing fine out there without me
'Cause I'm not doing so good without you
The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years
I guess I only see the truth through all this fear of living without you
And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
I can’t take another day without you
'Cause, baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long just to hold you
And to be back in your arms where I belong
I'm sorry I can't always find the words to say
But everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love
And everything I have in this world
All that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
As the days roll on I see
Time is standing still for me
When you’re not here
I’m sorry I can’t always find the words to say
Everything I’ve ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love
And everything I have in this world
And all that i'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

8:48 PM

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Hari Raya 2007

hmmmm.... let me see. i guess this weekend is a lil bit more special as compared to the rest. well, basically its because it Hari Raya. but then again... some of u know i'm not so into all these stuff. for me, i see it as a chance to get extra cash from relatives and also ofcoz just to spend that extra time and meet up with cousins, aunties and uncles etc. oh ya!!! and the food. lol! other then that.. i dont see the big "hoo haa" about it. i noticed this year.... i'm getting so much lesser green packets as compared to other years. and that sucks. i'm ONLY 19... and i havent started working. =( oh ya.. and granny.... saw her yesterday. and she doesn look good. i'm scared... maybe her time is about to come. i'll certainly gonna miss how she took care of me when i was small. if this year is gonna be her last hari raya... the kiss she gave on my cheek would be the last one. i really hope everything will be alright. maybe a miracle. i just havent lost anyone dear to me before.

talking about losing someone.... on thursday i've got news from my sec sch mate about the death of another friend on tuesday. and it really shook me hard. at first i kinda didnt believe it. but... once i saw the news article online, i just took a moment to think of the memories i had of him. well, i was never really close to him but still during my sec one and two years we hang out together. those were the days i would play soccer under the void deck and all. he never would speak much. he's a man of very lil words. he would just usually smile though. and i'll always remember him as a great soccer player. basically, he's an all round nice guy. its sad to see him leave this world. what more.... 4 days before hari raya. it must be very hard for the family to accept it. i read the article and the mum stated that he actually had requested for a black "baju kurong" this year. the mum already bought it but never had the chance to pass it to him.

it kinda made me realise that anyone can leave this world anytime. be it me, my friends or maybe even you reading this rite now. everyone is vulnerable. and there's no way one can run. i and i guess death is scary. i wonder how it'll be if my time comes. will i be missed? will i leave this world making my mark, leaving my dream? will i leave a legacy? i wont know. but if i were to leave just like that.... i hope people will forgive me for whatever wrong i've done. and to my friends, i'll miss you guys.

anyway... moving on to the lighter side of life. on friday softball club had a bbq. and i must say i had fun. and the food was alright lah. the most important thing is that i get to see the club getting together and working. plus... to meet up with the seniors and all. and... i dunno why but.... i was high. haha! just a note... there was no alcohol around.

and finally, some of u maybe asking why i choose this background song. well, i guess i just wanna be happy and stop all the emo shit for a moment. plus... i find this song damn sexy.

okay... i guess thats about it for now. i'll update soon

7:28 PM

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Preoccupied without you

okay.... here i'am again. well... its been a lousy weekend as usual. catched up on my sleep, surfed the net, played games, chat and etc. the same old weekend routine. and come to think about it.... i live such a boring life. well, its not my fault. there's just never ppl ard me to hang out with. busy busy busy...

well... on the brighter note. tmr's monday.... and nope... i'm not looking forward to work. but instead... after work. well.... if some of you think its baracuda prac. well.. you're wrong. i'm gonna skip baracuda prac to meet up with Siewli. its been a long time since we meet each other. i'm really looking forward to tmr. gonna have fun!

as for work... looks like i'm gonna be piled up with typing and editing and cracking of my brains. i'm supposedly throwned a 'project' to complete. well... i have to come out with a simplified manual for the technicians with reference from RSAF technical orders and manuals. and guess what... its not one, not two... but a whole stack of them. and considering how thick RSAF manuals are.... its not an easy task. seems like i'm back in school.... never ending reading, summarising. haiz... i dunno when i'll be able to complete it. but... seems like my 4.5 months left for attachment will be filled with this stupid 'project'. i miss school!!

well.... seems like my life is almost preoccupied with many stuff. hmmmm.... kinda true... but.... like the tittle says... "Preoccupied Without You". there's just this part within me that is missing. and its not the greatest feeling to be missing sumthing.

oh ya.... if any doctor or nurse or health expert happen to pass by my blog, i need help. i've been spitting out blood. i guess its got sumthing to do with my throat. it just feels sore for the past 3-4 weeks. and... so far after all the cough mixtures, water... there's just no improvement. am i dying?? well... my tongue showing signs of it.... its turing yellow. if so... i guess i have to start writing my will... not forgetting my thank you and goodbye notes.

I NEED BEER. a sudden crave for it. i guess it must be all the stress swallowing me up.

4:47 PM

Friday, October 5, 2007

So now I realise oh how much I have tried. It's still the same, fighting sadness with all my might.

All the tears was only just a fraction.

8:24 PM

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

6:27 PM

Thursday, October 4, 2007

TGIF

yay!! tmr's friday! yet another week has passed. well, although my weekends are super duper whooper boring to the MAX, i'm still looking forward to me cause it only means one thing... REST!

okay... where shall i start. hmmmm..... well, work has been alright this week. kinda slack actually. partly because my supervisor is not in the office with me. but i must say.... this week wasnt as bad as last week. cause... i spend most of my days at payar lebar air base. its my first time going there unsupervised. so..... it kinda feels good actually. i really feel like i'm actually working out there with the big ppl. i plan what to do, i prepare my own stuff before heading down to the airbase, i plan my time and most importantly... i'm answerable for whatever i do. and also... not forgetting the fun part, i knock off whenever i want and go wherever i want to. cool right?? haha! well, just as long as i dont get caught.

one thing about being at the air base is that.... it is super warm there! goodness.... the sun is like shining as if it owes me a decade of sunlight or sumthing. haha!! i think those who need a tan would definately appreaciate the sun for that. anyway... moving on, hmmmm.... well, i did the usual QAD stuff... checking of publications and etc. basically to prepare them for the upcoming audit. well, atleast thats what they say. from the way i see it, is that i'm saving their asses from the fire.

so.. the whole 'project' lasted till tdy. its kinda tiring going up and down between the airbase and office. although by car its super near... by legs... its so super inaccessible. but... well, what to do. they call it WORK for a reason. WORK=FORCE X DISTANCE.

here are some RESTRICTED pictures for all of you:


oh ya... since i'm at the topic of work. let me just mention this.... I'VE NOT GOTTEN MY PAY!! aargh!!! and it freaking irritating! damn it! i've got so much to pay and buy.... but.... no money! they say i'll most likely get it by next week. which can either be MONDAY or even FRIDAY!! aarrgghh!! so.... guys.... INDECO is not such a wonderful company afterall. I'LL NEVER WORK THERE EVER.

well, i've actually got alot to say. but, lets just keep it for other post. make the whole blog more interesting. haha! to end things off.... on a small note, i'm actually feeling alil down. or... in my normal words... EMO. i guess i'm thinking too much. aargh!! got to kick it out of my mind. FARHAN... YOU'VE GOT TO FOCUS!

8:46 PM

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

I'm back blogging!!

Okay.... my new blog is finally up!

Alright... to those who knows what happened to my previous blog, lets just keep it as history. I guess some things in life, one has to move on. No point brooding over it. I've lost all those precious memories from the blog but technically.... they are still in me. Let's just look at it from a brighter point of view... Its about time i created new memories in my life.

I guess this new blog of mine is not as 'personalized' as my previous one. Well, perhaps i just do not have the time to invest anymore. Or maybe.... i just takes time before i make it my own. Looks like the only thing i manage to salvage from my old blog would be my tagboard. But still... to my loyal readers out there. I promise you... the content is all me. I'll still be writing like i used to and there's no doubt about it. Only thing is that perhaps updates will be slow considering my busy busy schedule.

Well, i guess thats about it for now. I'll update some other time.

7:35 PM