Thursday, August 27, 2009

Sacrifice

after ndp, i thought my life in NS would go back to normal and mundane untill 040610.
but i guess my officer has other plans for me.

some of you guys know how much i use to want to be part of SPDS. of how i intially was posted there, given the chance but had it taken back only after hours of relishing the joy. then i thought my NS life was gonna be sucky. it took me some time and alot of brain washing for me to adapt to station life. and so i did.

so day by day... as i sit in station i would at times peep outside the door to watch the guys train at the parade square. wishing that it was me. i always wanted to get a hold of the MK IV rifle. and as the days passed... i kinda lost hope. that desire burnt off.

untill june came. i dont know how it happend and never did i expect it to happen but it did. SPDS came knocking on my door. asking if i would like to join them for NDP. and they mention this... 'its not a matter of how good you are. you just need to have the passion to excel.' and so i said yes. hence, there i was on the platform on 9 aug 2009.

yesterday, 260809... yet again i had to make a very difficult decision. there i was, doing my duty at 4pm, minding my own business. suddenly i heard... 'farhan, can i speak to you for a moment.' and deep inside i was like... 'wtf did i do wrong now?!' he looked at my uniform. i thought it was dirty or something. and then he said. 'eh farhan, where's your badge?' i was like... 'what badge?' only after 3 secs then did i realised he was talking about the spds skill badge. he said... 'you performed for NDP right? then u shld be have the badge cause you're trained.' haha! but guess what sir... yours truly was not trained.

hence, because of that. he insisted that i should join the basic course since i had the potential. hmmmm.... actually, i dont mind. but... what stopped me was the time of the month. no, i'm not refering to that ladies. i meant the sept period. fasting... and then followed by hari raya. being in the course meant that i have to train during the fasting period and then untill the end of the first week of hari raya. like WTF! initially i had already planned my leaves and offs for that period of raya. looks like it now has to be put on hold. ouh... and not forgeting the painful part. being a trainee all over again. it means... a monday to sat noon work week. aarrghhhh!! my freedom just
flew out of the window. all that sacrifice for one month. just for the badge on my uniform.

after i said yes... i thought and asked myself. did i made the wrong decision? is this what i really want. do i really have to strive so hard just for this period of 2yr service. i made my officer proud but am i happy with my decision?

its sad... i'll miss the first week of raya. and i'm sure i wouldnt be able to fast considering all the training under the blazin heat. how how?? actually... it doesnt matter already. its done. my name has been sent in.

if i'm not wrong hell awaits me on monday. or atleast next week.

by the end of that one month i hope i'm able to don the badge on my uniform. and somehow fulfill what i have always wanted. i'll be the only one in my batch that has that badge. would i feel proud?? i think so. we shall see.

oh ya!! not forgeting the horrible tan lines i'm gonna have too. esp the one along my face caused by the helmet strap. haha! i'm so not gonna take pics during raya.

okay.. wish me luck guys.

sorry if i cant meet up. i want to. but the nation calls upon me. haha!
i guess saturday afternoon and sunday are the best options.



ouh... and i'm kinda sad. i wont be able to meet someone that often anymore. i guess this 2 weeks have been fun. too bad its being short-lived. we'll see how it goes.

8:27 PM